Immortal, ugly and under 18

I'm doing a bit of research for a novel.

Inspired by my niece, the topics tend to focus more on the dark side. Since I haven't been heavily propelled into the darkness since I regularly listened to Lords of the New Church in the 80s, I'm a bit at a loss for what is current in the dark realm.

Research was needed.

Didja ever try and Google Goth or Vampire? Everything from Gothic.Net to Wikipedia's definition for Vampire comes up, and there are like a million entries before you get to any substance.So, say my topic is something along the lines of Zombies, then how does one get background information from people with experience with the undead from, oh, I dunno the Romanians or Haitians. It would seem like turning to the Internet would be the obvious answer that is until you actually do a search and visit a few sites.

There are numerous theories that support and discuss everything from vampirism to Santeria. There are many similarities and even more inconsistencies that divide camps, but there is one glaring thing that binds. While there are many lovely, learned young women who run sites either because they are hopeful, self delusional, or just too steeped into the world of fantasy; their male counterparts are, more often than not, ghastly, non-exercising, light avoiding post pubescent gamers, who are all looking for devotees, while obviously existing in a world bereft of social skills and mirrors.

I mean you would think that once in a while, you would run across a non-insane person (normal in this realm is notan option) with whom you could discuss a topic seriously without having them tell you how you should join their group and asking if you're hot. When it comes to alternative lifestyles it seems every meet up, chat, my space page or support group is inhabited by a membership that runs the gamut from Screech to Jim Jones.

Is a little Snake Pliskin too much to ask for?

I don't get it. Even ugly girls switch on an occasional episode of What Not to Wear and take a crack at improving themselves, while guys often resembling Matt Lucas from Little Britain, seem to make an ad hoc decision, that they are cool, and worthy of a gorgeous female following. Unfortunately the ones who believe they are the be all and end all, are.......not. I suppose the beautiful people of Darkwave, influenced by the music, literature and fashion walked out of the darkness and into the light before the dawn of the new Millennium leaving only die hard Dungeon and Dragons types in the goth population.

Like youth, apparently Neo-goth is wasted on the young.

If vampires and the undead are suppose to walk the earth for hundreds of years, why can't I find even one over 35?